INSIDE EVERY FELT AVERSION is an unarticulated judgment – a facet of ego we find unforgivable. What we fail to appreciate is that this condemned facet is just one of many other cut faces on a greater archetypal jewel. In the throes of aversion, then, we don’t merely judge specific aspects of ego; we trash entire matrices – the very archetypal diamonds in which consciousness is embedded.
The advantage of becoming archetypally literate (see Styles of Awakening Training) is that whenever aversion strikes, we have the language and perceptual acuity with which to stop and identify the innocent, totally valid style of awakening that this judged person is so clumsily attempting to employ. We feel their positive intention and we know how to support them. In short, we learn to move more and more quickly from aversion to archetype to appreciation of the One Being in the throes of waking up to itself.
Each of the twelve archetypes has their own favorite targets to aim judgment at. To fully unravel the motivations behind a person’s particular areas of harshness and bias one would need to look at their whole chart. However, some valuable insights about judgment that apply equally to all signs can be harvested from the Virgo/Pisces polarity.
The Virgo part of us is driven by the instinct to make order out of chaos – to attend to inner and outer environments in such a way that they glorify and accentuate the innocent simplicity and intelligence of this seemingly random and impersonal universe. And what happens when the quest for an outpicturing of life’s sacred order gets into the hands of ego? Heartless fault-finding.
If there’s any hope of washing this snap judgment from our eyes and cutting through ego’s swirling fog of verdicts it is through understanding what judgment really is: projected self-hatred, which is the ego’s desperate attempt to stop it’s perversely enlivening habit of self-cutting by turning the blade on someone else’s psychic skin. Seen in this light, there’s no such thing as criticalness – only muted cries for love.
How do we break this habit of psychological self-cutting? Perhaps, by cutting even deeper to the very root of Virgo perfectionism and finally getting an honest, meditatively-earned answer to the following question: Why, exactly, is it not a tragedy that the sharp cut of space has chopped us up into these separate, searching egos?
The answer, of course, comes as a shift in Piscean paradigm, not a linear explanation. But if silence could speak, perhaps its answer would sound something like this: With no skin to press up against, the seamless field of sentience would have no one to kiss into shivery arousal.
Why does the lower-octave Virgo part of us self-injure? For three misguided, but nonetheless logically consistent, reasons:
1) Believed-in judgment is an anti-chaotic.
Judgment is what happens whenever ego feels that a more spacious, provisional interpretation of events would make our lives too mysterious and disorienting for us to psychologically cope and successfully navigate the world.
2) Believed-in judgment validates the existence of a separate somebody who knows.
To the time-bound sense of self, it’s not important whether our mental assessments are true or false, self-empowering or self-immolating, so long as the fog of mental interpretations remains thick enough to obscure the ego-dissolving face of the present moment.
3) Believed-in judgments, when shared, provide a safely-scripted, heart-protected illusion of intimacy.
From ego’s point of view, the experience of One Being is overrated- a kind of faux intimacy that is either too emotionally flat or psychically incestuous to truly enjoy. Why resort to such surreal, disorienting ways of connecting when you can unite via visceral, unambiguous zaps of shared aversion?
Notice that all three justifications for self-cutting have one thing in common: the desire to shoo away disorientation – the lower-octave expression of its opposite sign, Pisces. Until we learn to trust ourselves to groundedly navigate our inner and outer worlds without strongly believed-in stories about who we and others are, the temptation to orient ourselves via judgment will be impossible to resist.
And how do we develop this grounded kind of storyless-ness (this Virgo kind of Pisces)? Simple. The higher octave expression of Pisces: meditation.
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