Calling off the Search (for a compatible partner)

PERHAPS THE SEARCH for a compatible partner is akin to the search for enlightenment: the most we can do is make ourselves vulnerable to its grace through regular, heartfelt witnessing of our otherwise excruciatingly automated body/mind (a.ka. meditation).  

As equanimity seeps deeper and deeper into our giddy agendas and we awaken from the collective trance that one moment is significantly different than any another, so, too, are we released from the superstition of a life-improving partner. Our “partner” becomes each passing moment. Our gender-full “single” or “in-need-of-a-friend” story steps aside and our days are filled with flirtatious winks at the Beloved everywhere we go. Result: compatible mystery-lovers recognize us as one of their own and draw nearer. Voila! — relationship.

Admit it: you always knew manipulating the illusion wasn’t gonna do the trick. So forget about compatible and incompatible and start letting vulnerably revealed, devotionally felt truths decide the form of your relationships. Here are a few self-inquiry questions to get you started:
1. How will you recognize the “right” partner to accompany you through ego-death, sickness, old age and all-night camp outs at your bedside until your last breath if you haven’t inquired deeply into the purpose of relationship and the incarnation you hope to share?
2. How can you trust yourself to take on the daily care and companionship of an additional body/mind if you aren’t yet established in a daily practice of flushing the reactivity and narcissism from your own?
3. What rock-solid, shared values will help you survive each other’s unimaginable, life-changing future transits: the love-cooling (if not snuffing) Saturn/Venus transits, the paradigm-crashing shocks of Uranus, the brutal self-reckonings of Pluto and the disorienting sensitizations  of Neptune?

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